ya know what

i am EXHAUSTED. this whole five-day-a-week thing sucks. and i never get to do anything on the weekend cause i'm so tired.

school is wearing me outttttttt. plus i care about grades and stuff and i'm trying to not let them slide, but i have so much homework and i'm part of this extra school thing and i live far away from my school and life is rough. it could be worse. definitely. but compared to my past life experiences (of which the list is relatively short) high school is a big deal.

for the first three months of high school, actually we haven't even finished three months (uh-oh) i tried. with clothes and makeup and hair and people. and now it's all gone. i barely make it out of bed, i'm half asleep during social studies, i slumber in algebra two, i am shocked awake in biology and then in photography i'm exhausted by the day. even though i didn't have enough time to wake up in the first place.

i still try with people, i suppose. and fashion (come on, i can't let fashion slide. see thechicessence.blogspot.com if ya need confirmation). but even though sophomore year is about thirty thousand times better than freshman year, it still sucks sometimes. it might even be worse because we're expected to already have settled in and know everything. all i know is how to get good grades and make people laugh.

i wish it were enough.

i wish i knew other stuff, too. i wish i was athletic and musically talented and popular and comfortable. but sitting at my computer at 10:24 on saturday night will help me achieve none of those things. unless i'm wrapped in a cozy fleece blanket. as a matter a fact, i am. check off the comfortable box. even though thats not what i mean.

is fifteen too old? too old to have never had a boyfriend, a *real* boyfriend, not the one from sixth grade that you kissed twice on the back of the bus? but one who tells you you're pretty and respects you and cares about you? i'm not sure if i'm trying to wait for one that meets all those requirements or if i am just a girl who meets none of them. thats what i mean about comfortable. knowledge is comfort. once you know something is a fact, you can live with it and move one. living in an abyss of uncertainty is literally hell.

well, that's my glorious rant-of-the-day. thanks for taking time out of your busy internet scoping schedule to read my blog. cheerio!

xoxo---colette :)