pretty much^
has anyone noticed how hard school is? hahaha. but honestly. i know it's really important and everything, but it requires so much energy. i don't even have time to think anymore unless it's about eutrophication or logarithms.
i'm one of those people that just assumes i can handle a lot more that i can. i don't even realize how ridiculous i'm being when i think i can add on something extraordinarily difficult. it's like i'm walking around with a bunch of bricks on my back and every time i see something i think would be cool to do, i put in on top of the bricks. and it's cool. but for like a tenth of a second. and then i just fall over.
GAHHHHHHH!!!!!
i needed to scream, sorry.
i literally can't take this pressure. getting to this break will be such a relief. for the first two days. starting december 26th, i'll go into hyper-speed trying to work on my honors eng 2 stuff for next semester. and work on my capstone paper and presentation for biology. and work on my photography final because it's due the day we get back. and my portfolio. and study for finals in acc alg 2, social studies and bio.
yay for education!
i don't really understand why my parents and teachers and friends keep telling me the pressure will be off of me soon. when is soon? next semester? well, noooo because i have hard classes. next summer? sure, for a couple months before junior year, the most stressful year of all starts. what about the end of high school? okay, all the high school drama will be done but there's still the fact that i'll be living alone and going to college and working sixteen thousand times harder. there's probably never again going to be a time in my life when i'm not stressed. bc after college comes life. that's probably the most stressful thing of all.
i am ready for christmas tho. i loooooooove christmas. and it will be a relief to at least not have to go to school everyday, even if the workload is the same.
huh. i guess i actually cheered myself up. fancy that.
k bye. i must go watch home alone now and laugh my head off. but only after filling a bowl of ice cream sky high with chocolate peanut butter cup.
:) --colette
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Saturday, November 15, 2014
ya know what
i am EXHAUSTED. this whole five-day-a-week thing sucks. and i never get to do anything on the weekend cause i'm so tired.
school is wearing me outttttttt. plus i care about grades and stuff and i'm trying to not let them slide, but i have so much homework and i'm part of this extra school thing and i live far away from my school and life is rough. it could be worse. definitely. but compared to my past life experiences (of which the list is relatively short) high school is a big deal.
for the first three months of high school, actually we haven't even finished three months (uh-oh) i tried. with clothes and makeup and hair and people. and now it's all gone. i barely make it out of bed, i'm half asleep during social studies, i slumber in algebra two, i am shocked awake in biology and then in photography i'm exhausted by the day. even though i didn't have enough time to wake up in the first place.
i still try with people, i suppose. and fashion (come on, i can't let fashion slide. see thechicessence.blogspot.com if ya need confirmation). but even though sophomore year is about thirty thousand times better than freshman year, it still sucks sometimes. it might even be worse because we're expected to already have settled in and know everything. all i know is how to get good grades and make people laugh.
i wish it were enough.
i wish i knew other stuff, too. i wish i was athletic and musically talented and popular and comfortable. but sitting at my computer at 10:24 on saturday night will help me achieve none of those things. unless i'm wrapped in a cozy fleece blanket. as a matter a fact, i am. check off the comfortable box. even though thats not what i mean.
is fifteen too old? too old to have never had a boyfriend, a *real* boyfriend, not the one from sixth grade that you kissed twice on the back of the bus? but one who tells you you're pretty and respects you and cares about you? i'm not sure if i'm trying to wait for one that meets all those requirements or if i am just a girl who meets none of them. thats what i mean about comfortable. knowledge is comfort. once you know something is a fact, you can live with it and move one. living in an abyss of uncertainty is literally hell.
well, that's my glorious rant-of-the-day. thanks for taking time out of your busy internet scoping schedule to read my blog. cheerio!
xoxo---colette :)
school is wearing me outttttttt. plus i care about grades and stuff and i'm trying to not let them slide, but i have so much homework and i'm part of this extra school thing and i live far away from my school and life is rough. it could be worse. definitely. but compared to my past life experiences (of which the list is relatively short) high school is a big deal.
for the first three months of high school, actually we haven't even finished three months (uh-oh) i tried. with clothes and makeup and hair and people. and now it's all gone. i barely make it out of bed, i'm half asleep during social studies, i slumber in algebra two, i am shocked awake in biology and then in photography i'm exhausted by the day. even though i didn't have enough time to wake up in the first place.
i still try with people, i suppose. and fashion (come on, i can't let fashion slide. see thechicessence.blogspot.com if ya need confirmation). but even though sophomore year is about thirty thousand times better than freshman year, it still sucks sometimes. it might even be worse because we're expected to already have settled in and know everything. all i know is how to get good grades and make people laugh.
i wish it were enough.
i wish i knew other stuff, too. i wish i was athletic and musically talented and popular and comfortable. but sitting at my computer at 10:24 on saturday night will help me achieve none of those things. unless i'm wrapped in a cozy fleece blanket. as a matter a fact, i am. check off the comfortable box. even though thats not what i mean.
is fifteen too old? too old to have never had a boyfriend, a *real* boyfriend, not the one from sixth grade that you kissed twice on the back of the bus? but one who tells you you're pretty and respects you and cares about you? i'm not sure if i'm trying to wait for one that meets all those requirements or if i am just a girl who meets none of them. thats what i mean about comfortable. knowledge is comfort. once you know something is a fact, you can live with it and move one. living in an abyss of uncertainty is literally hell.
well, that's my glorious rant-of-the-day. thanks for taking time out of your busy internet scoping schedule to read my blog. cheerio!
xoxo---colette :)
Thursday, September 25, 2014
oh the joy
so there was an article in the paper today about me.
yay! publicity!
or something like that.
honestly, i know getting yourself out there is supposed to be great, but it scares me.
today in bio, we learned that single-cell creatures don't even know they're alive. how? how can you WANT to be alive when you don't even KNOW you are?
that's how i feel. confused and non-existent.
well, obviously i exist. i yell and dance and frolic everywhere i go.
but i mean that no one really considers me their best friend. i'm just the k, the constant variable in their life, the one they can always count on to be happy even when they are pissed.
i'm tired of being the constant. i never get to be the tired one, the quiet one, the lonely one, the angry one.
i'm consistently and overwhelmingly happy.
and it sucks.
yay! publicity!
or something like that.
honestly, i know getting yourself out there is supposed to be great, but it scares me.
today in bio, we learned that single-cell creatures don't even know they're alive. how? how can you WANT to be alive when you don't even KNOW you are?
that's how i feel. confused and non-existent.
well, obviously i exist. i yell and dance and frolic everywhere i go.
but i mean that no one really considers me their best friend. i'm just the k, the constant variable in their life, the one they can always count on to be happy even when they are pissed.
i'm tired of being the constant. i never get to be the tired one, the quiet one, the lonely one, the angry one.
i'm consistently and overwhelmingly happy.
and it sucks.
Monday, August 25, 2014
omg
i just found out get another day of relaxxxxxing and avoiding school.
Hallelujuah- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8AWFf7EAc4.
i DEFINITELY didn't spell that right.
that is all.
colgate
Monday, August 18, 2014
counterparts
did you think i was a vivaciously popular girl when you first saw my blog? like, oh, she's pretending she's one of those teens who is lame and uncool and doesn't have a boyfriend when really she's awesome.
well, i am awesome.
but i'm not popular. nor do i have a boyfriend. *wallows in self-pity*
nooooooooo. i do not need a boyfriend to survive. but it would be nice for once to be a guy's FIRST choice rather than his thirty-first choice.
i wish i knew how to act when someone likes me. sometimes i wish i wasn't so outgoing and jumpy and dancy and fun. sometimes i wish i were subtle and secretive and seductive.
HA. yeah right.
so this year, when i blew out my birthday candles and when the clock strikes 11:11 and when i have an eyelash in my eye and the ONE time i found a four leaf clover, that's what i wished for.
i wished that i had someone who cared about me.
let's wait and see......
well, i am awesome.
but i'm not popular. nor do i have a boyfriend. *wallows in self-pity*
nooooooooo. i do not need a boyfriend to survive. but it would be nice for once to be a guy's FIRST choice rather than his thirty-first choice.
i wish i knew how to act when someone likes me. sometimes i wish i wasn't so outgoing and jumpy and dancy and fun. sometimes i wish i were subtle and secretive and seductive.
HA. yeah right.
so this year, when i blew out my birthday candles and when the clock strikes 11:11 and when i have an eyelash in my eye and the ONE time i found a four leaf clover, that's what i wished for.
i wished that i had someone who cared about me.
let's wait and see......
Sunday, August 17, 2014
and some teen writing too
i'm writing a book.
well actually, i'm writing about five or six, but since this one is really the only nonfiction one and the only one that relates to what this blog is about, I thought i'd share and excerpt from the book.
chaptah one is called "hypocrite. hypocrite. hypocrite! you're such a hypocrite."
one day, on the bus, i was talking to a group of people and we started discussing the age old talk about boys hitting girls and how it was so much worse than girls hitting guys. the boys fought, saying that girls get more pissed when guys hit them and that girls needed to know that guys were safe. one girl argued the polar opposite, saying that girls could hit guys and guys could hit girls as long as they had good reasons. she cracked me up. "gender didn't matter so much as stupidity."
finally the girl asked me point blank what i thought. i didn't know what to say. if i sided with her, i was going to be made fun of. if i sided with the guys, i was sexist and lying.
"i think that you shouldn't hit anyone." that was safe.
she frowned at me.
"c'mon, honestly. tell me."
"well, i guess it doesn't really matter to me. if they pissed me off, i might hit them."
all the boys groaned and we laughed.
the bus dropped us off at school and the other girl and i walked to the bathroom. we didn't intend to walk together, but we just did and we laughed a little when we got there. like, huh, have you been next to me this whole time?
when we got to the bathroom, we almost walked straight into two of the most popular ninth graders. (oh yeah, this happened last year) they were doing their makeup, which meant we lowly, unpopular girls must leave. they saw my glasses, my blotchy face, my oily skin. i knew one of the girls, so i smiled at her, but it was not returned. i was about to duck into a stall out of embarrassment when the girl from the bus spoke.
"do you guys think guys shouldn't be allowed to hit girls? like, is it worse for guys to hit girls than for girls to hit guys?"
i was speechless. don't talk to the popular girls and they'll leave you alone. the fourth wall hadn't just been broken for a class project which forced cooperation, it had been shattered for completely un-educational, selfish reason. this bus girl was actually curious what they thought.
GOD. WHY?
"guys can't hit girls or they'll break up with them. they're not stupid," the popular girl said.
"that's not fair. i think it should be equal." she flipped her hair and she turned and walked out of the bathroom, yelling thanks as she walked out the door.
the popular girls turned to each other and laughed.
"what the hell was that?" one of them said.
"did you see what she was wearing?" said the other.
they looked at me. i forced a laugh and shrugged my shoulders. i went into a stall and heard their laughs echo, echo, echo.
i felt crappy.
i was crappy.
WHY DID I DO THAT?
welcome to freshman year.
moral of the story: it will basically be the same for every story i tell you. don't do what i did.
xoxo--
colette
well actually, i'm writing about five or six, but since this one is really the only nonfiction one and the only one that relates to what this blog is about, I thought i'd share and excerpt from the book.
chaptah one is called "hypocrite. hypocrite. hypocrite! you're such a hypocrite."
one day, on the bus, i was talking to a group of people and we started discussing the age old talk about boys hitting girls and how it was so much worse than girls hitting guys. the boys fought, saying that girls get more pissed when guys hit them and that girls needed to know that guys were safe. one girl argued the polar opposite, saying that girls could hit guys and guys could hit girls as long as they had good reasons. she cracked me up. "gender didn't matter so much as stupidity."
finally the girl asked me point blank what i thought. i didn't know what to say. if i sided with her, i was going to be made fun of. if i sided with the guys, i was sexist and lying.
"i think that you shouldn't hit anyone." that was safe.
she frowned at me.
"c'mon, honestly. tell me."
"well, i guess it doesn't really matter to me. if they pissed me off, i might hit them."
all the boys groaned and we laughed.
the bus dropped us off at school and the other girl and i walked to the bathroom. we didn't intend to walk together, but we just did and we laughed a little when we got there. like, huh, have you been next to me this whole time?
when we got to the bathroom, we almost walked straight into two of the most popular ninth graders. (oh yeah, this happened last year) they were doing their makeup, which meant we lowly, unpopular girls must leave. they saw my glasses, my blotchy face, my oily skin. i knew one of the girls, so i smiled at her, but it was not returned. i was about to duck into a stall out of embarrassment when the girl from the bus spoke.
"do you guys think guys shouldn't be allowed to hit girls? like, is it worse for guys to hit girls than for girls to hit guys?"
i was speechless. don't talk to the popular girls and they'll leave you alone. the fourth wall hadn't just been broken for a class project which forced cooperation, it had been shattered for completely un-educational, selfish reason. this bus girl was actually curious what they thought.
GOD. WHY?
"guys can't hit girls or they'll break up with them. they're not stupid," the popular girl said.
"that's not fair. i think it should be equal." she flipped her hair and she turned and walked out of the bathroom, yelling thanks as she walked out the door.
the popular girls turned to each other and laughed.
"what the hell was that?" one of them said.
"did you see what she was wearing?" said the other.
they looked at me. i forced a laugh and shrugged my shoulders. i went into a stall and heard their laughs echo, echo, echo.
i felt crappy.
i was crappy.
WHY DID I DO THAT?
welcome to freshman year.
moral of the story: it will basically be the same for every story i tell you. don't do what i did.
xoxo--
colette
Saturday, August 16, 2014
why hello there.
WELCOME.
so, you, a young soul, decided while strolling along an everyday blogosphere that you would visit my blog. upon reading the title and the following blog description, you decided that, hey, this girl is humorous and cute. might as well follow her.
you made a very nice decision.
this blog is going to contain all my rants and raves about high school. i will tell all the embarrassing stories, the hilarious jokes and the dish on relationships. my only rule? NO NAMES. i'm not mean. after all, i'm only ANONYMOUSLY sharing people's intermost secrets.
ha ha ha.
but you guys can ask me any questions you want. i've got an electronic, fake shoulder to cry on...
there, there.
i've got a huge bucket of advice for you when you need it.
AND it's purple.
and i've got an awkward, semi-antisocial, quirky, unique brain to think through all your problems.
look at that brain. doesn't it make you giggle?
i will help you freshman (and any sophOmores that want it)! i have made all the same mistakes before and i will help you to not make them. or at least help you to not be filmed while dancing in an interesting manner. more on that later.
WELCOME TO FRESHMAN YEAR.
xoxo--
colette ;)
so, you, a young soul, decided while strolling along an everyday blogosphere that you would visit my blog. upon reading the title and the following blog description, you decided that, hey, this girl is humorous and cute. might as well follow her.
you made a very nice decision.
this blog is going to contain all my rants and raves about high school. i will tell all the embarrassing stories, the hilarious jokes and the dish on relationships. my only rule? NO NAMES. i'm not mean. after all, i'm only ANONYMOUSLY sharing people's intermost secrets.
ha ha ha.
but you guys can ask me any questions you want. i've got an electronic, fake shoulder to cry on...
there, there.
i've got a huge bucket of advice for you when you need it.
AND it's purple.
and i've got an awkward, semi-antisocial, quirky, unique brain to think through all your problems.
look at that brain. doesn't it make you giggle?
i will help you freshman (and any sophOmores that want it)! i have made all the same mistakes before and i will help you to not make them. or at least help you to not be filmed while dancing in an interesting manner. more on that later.
WELCOME TO FRESHMAN YEAR.
xoxo--
colette ;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)